Equal Opportunity System

There are two types of people who never achieve very much in their lifetime. One is the person who won’t do what he is told, and one who does no more than he or she is told.

Andrew Carnegie

“Mom,” Charlotte stated. “I’m not going to be a farmer when I grow up.” “Ok,” I responded. “What are you going to be? A beauty shopper like Eva.” Eva argued, “You can’t be a beauty shopper like me! Think of the confusion this will cause. Who is Mom going to pick for her haircut? Where is Dad going to go and think of Tyson!”  “Whoa, girls,” I halted. “I think we have time to figure this out.” Charlotte looks over at Eva. “Eva. This will not be a problem. Daddy’s bald!’

I found myself overwhelmed. Trying to balance homeschooling and the basic needs of three kids was tiresome. There were still, of course, outside and inside daily chores that needed to be done. A horse was soon to come that I needed to continue preparations for. There were chickens that needed tending, dogs, and one lamb named Ruth, who lives with the chickens. I am pretty sure Ruth thinks she is a chicken. I found her the other day, eating from their feed with one hoof pressed against the flap. And if that wasn’t enough to convince me, I saw her under the trees resting next to the rooster – “For the flock!”

It seemed like my wheels were spinning, but I was not gaining traction. I thought I had a manageable schedule that would let me hit these tasks. However, the unexpected kept happening (imagine that).

Seeking answers, I took a quiet moment to ask the Lord for help and guidance. What was I doing wrong? He took me to Exodus chapter 18, where Moses was standing from sunup to sundown, judging all the people, while Jethro, his father-in-law and priest of Midian, watched. I love that Jethro “watched” him. That seems typical of the wise. They watch us until they have a quiet opening to offer sound advice.

It wasn’t until after Moses had finished that Jethro looked at him and said, “The thing that you do is not good. Both you and the people will surely wear yourselves out. For this thing is too much for you, and you are not able to perform by yourself. Listen now and I will give you counsel,” (Exodus 18: 18-19). It would behoove us to listen when we are given sound, godly advice.

All the answers to life are contained within the pages of the Bible. Trouble is, we don’t stop long enough to search for them. I saw myself within the story of Moses. I was trying to be all things to all people, without delegating tasks based on age or responsibility. For chores that had already been assigned, I micromanaged, overshadowing their abilities. I was completely wearing myself out.

Immediately, I began designating chores based on strengths and discipline when not followed. Eva was old enough to babysit for a specific amount of time while I worked upstairs in the afternoons. I was still within earshot, but this allowed her to learn some basic babysitting skills and earn extra money, which taught her how to manage her funds.

Charlotte became skilled at sweeping, folding, and setting the table, and Tyson, well, he enjoyed any small assignment that allowed him a part of whatever the girls were doing. Learning to work together to accomplish tasks in a timely manner so that the fun wouldn’t get left out became the daily goal.  

Not all lessons were calm. One afternoon, a white film suddenly filled the back porch. “Get back, girls! Tyson, get over here! Eva, close that door, we don’t want all that smoke in the house!” Chuck was spraying the smoker with the fire extinguisher. As soon as the flames reappeared, he would spray with intent and focus. A white smog that filled your mouth covered the back porch and smoker. I looked down at the kids and, with great satisfaction, recited the Santa Claus, “This is why you want to keep a high-quality fire extinguisher right in the kitchen.”

After that excitement settled, our daily routines returned. “So, what will you and daddy be doing if we kids are doing all the work?” Eva asked. I blankly stared in annoyance, laughing on the inside. “Trust me,” I told her, “We will be busy in the management and follow through. This is not an equal opportunity system here; you have things to learn in order to grow up to be a responsible young woman who can manage the responsibilities that come with a household and family. It’s our job to see that you do that. Charlotte and Tyson will learn the same as they grow.”

At the beginning of the delegation and babysitting, I was working upstairs when I heard Eva passing out snacks to Charlotte and Tyson. “Not until you say please and pick up your toys,” she stated. She had created her own system by watching me. Now she was executing it on her own. One afternoon, she took it upon herself to sweep and mop the floors without being asked. The next day, she washed the dishes herself. Delegation; what a concept. Everyone shines, and loads are lightened.

Charlotte has found that her strength lies in delegation and leadership. “Let me tell you something, Eva, when your basket-balling, you need to elbow them with your elbow and leave them crying on the floor. Just go and leave them there. Don’t worry about it.” We knew, from this statement, that Charlotte would never be trifled with.

The ability for advancement and great achievement becomes ours for the taking in an equal opportunity system. The question for me is simply whether or not I will allow others to shine. Rays of hope can be seen from their smiling faces as they watch seeds begin to sprout from the garden dirt, or from a long hike to the top of the ridge over-looking the tree tops while the sun is beginning to set behind the shadows; carrying Tyson most of the way proved tiresome, but the rewards were great as we all cheered together and enjoyed the end results of a job well done.

It’s not about perfectly folded towels or neatly creased sheets, nor how symmetric the chairs are. Our role is to give our children opportunities to shine and to learn responsibility. Life won’t be handed to them, but if we help them reach for greatness at home, they’ll continue to do so as they grow. An equal opportunity system for success begins with us.

Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2