Strikers, On Three!

He who would live in peace must not speak about all he sees or all he knows.

Ronald Reagan

I wanted to take Charlotte out of the soccer game. I hated to see her crying. “No,” he said. “We are leaving her in the game. She has to learn that tears do not always get the answer she wants.” Chuck was adamant that she needed to stay in the game. Although we were unsure of the outcome, neither of us wanted to budge from our positions in training or rescue. Two different opinions. Who wins?

“I want to play on my own soccer team. I am ready! Charlotte pleaded.” Listening to her little speech, Chuck and I smiled. She had been going to Eva’s practice and games for three years. Maybe it was time to let her try her wings on her own little field. Soccer ball, shin guards, soccer socks, and sports registrations were all purchased. The excitement soared as she began her very own soccer practices with the Strikers!

Asking her about her team, she would proudly tell her team name: “Strikers, on three,” she would yell!  At first, I was confused until I heard the coach from the huddle, “Strikers on three kids, 1-2-3 STRIKERS!”  To Charlotte, the team name would forever be Strikers-on-three.

With each practice, the anticipation grew for the upcoming game. There she stood on the sideline. It didn’t matter that this was her big moment and time to shine; that we were all standing there ready to cheer her on! The excitement, crowd, and competition at the other end of the field met with her emotions, and tears began to pour. Being the loving mother that I am, I obviously walked right over to the bench and comforted her. I could feel Chuck’s glare burning a hole through my back, but I didn’t care. I would be the superhero she needed.

Returning next to Chuck, he stared at me. “What!” I remarked. “You’re not helping her,” he said. “Remember the swimming lessons with Eva? You have to know when to let go.” I turned silently back to the game.

We all have backup moments, letting go moments, and confrontational moments. How do we navigate through these tough spots that are less than comfortable?

During one of these “backup moments” in my life, my father offered me sound advice. He was working a young horse at the time; her name was Patty. “Someday, Patty will forget some of the things she has learned in the round pen. At that point, I will bring her back to her foundation, which is doing everything in circles. She will return to the round pen to relearn or refresh things she has forgotten. She will not be less because of it, but she will never become what she can be until she revisits what she’s learning now. None of us ever outgrow having to go back to the round pen to remember lessons we’ve already learned. It can be humbling, but also liberating. Remember this because one day, you’re going to need it too.”

Reading a book on the Second Great Awakening, I became curious about what stopped this great movement of God. My findings were simple, Biblical, and yet profound to me. The topic of slavery was becoming more and more dominant in the United States; which states were going to keep slavery, which states were not, and which states joining the union would be free or slave. All this rising on the scene stifled the Great Awakening. Why? Division.

The devil has come up with nothing new. Yet it surprises us and takes us by surprise every time. The devil is more committed than we are. He hates anything to do with God, especially a movement that was radically shaking a nation. The devil defeated the Second Great Awakening through division and strife. Now he was trying to defeat me at a four-year-old’s soccer game, because I wouldn’t back up.

Same tactics, different time. If you want to stop God’s presence within your home, get into confusion and strife. “God is not the author of confusion but of peace,” 1 Corinthians 14:33.

Sitting Bull was asked a question: “There are two dogs fighting, which one wins?” He answered, “The one you feed the most.”

Who are we feeding? The spirit that brings life and peace, or the flesh that brings confusion and disruption. Yielding doesn’t make you weaker, but wiser. It shows maturity. It prevents a crash. The scent of pride is most often revealed by the words we speak. And most relationship issues, friendship snares, and cross words spoken, start with pride.

Speak coyly and be slightly wise

George Herbert

Yielding brings growth. It’s just like Charlotte learning to ride her bike. I was holding the seat behind her as she flew across the yard. “Ok, Mom, let go. I can do it!” My heart was so happy listening to her squeals. Yet, afterward, I felt a hint of sadness. When Eva had learned to ride, she wanted Daddy to hold on and not let go. Charlotte, on the other hand, was ready to try it all on her own. It was a wonderful feeling for her. She was gaining independence while I was losing a small piece of her dependence on me.  However, even as Charlotte grows in independence, she will still need guidance and instruction along the way. That’s our job: to provide effective leadership while the groundwork is laid for the future, beyond the round pen.

Obedience is the health of the human heart.

Francis B Haas

Soccer with four-year-olds is like watching a school of fish moving in unison through the water. There is no individuality or assigned positions; no concern for concept. They see the ball. They huddle for the ball. They kick the ball. There is always the butterfly chaser, the dirt mound builder, the focused one, and, of course, the crier; that was mine.

I wanted to run and save her yet again, but Chuck shook his head. I sat still. Then, from behind his back, he pulled a stuffed animal, Bluey. Her eyes looked with wide wonder! “Play your game, Charlotte,” he yelled. Every time Charlotte started to cry, he held up Bluey. Step by step, she made her way out to the field. The ball came rolling by her, and with one giant kick, she scored a goal! The crowd cheered! Charlotte smiled. She had learned to play her own game. Strikers on three!

At the end of the season, a lady walked up to us and said, “The sweetest thing I saw all season was a large man holding this tiny stuffed animal trying to find a way to encourage his daughter to play. What a great dad you must be.” I stood there proud beside him, knowing he was.

Benjamin Franklin said, “Sometimes peace lies on the other side of conflict." Turns out, Chuck was the hero Charlotte needed. Returning to the round pen wasn’t so bad with a soccer ball in view. 

For then I will restore to the people a pure language that they all may call on the name of the Lord to serve Him with one accord. Zephaniah 3:9